! It looks like you are waiting for something. Dr. Amigo is already here.

☠ DEATH PREDICTION CALCULATOR ☠

v2.1 | Last Updated: 04/17/2007 | Best viewed in Netscape Navigator
WARNING: DR. AMIGO ASSUMES NO LIABILITY FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA, EXISTENTIAL DREAD, OR SUDDEN CESSATION OF VITAL FUNCTIONS. DO NOT LEAVE THE PAGE ONCE CALCULATION BEGINS. HE IS ALREADY INSIDE.

Welcome. Dr. Amigo's algorithm uses physiological, psychological, and metaphysical data points to calculate your exact time of death. Answer honestly.

What is your age?
Hours of sleep per night?
Do you ever feel like you're being watched?
Experienced déjà vu in the past week?
Do you remember your dreams?
Are you using Chrome on Windows?
Notice a specific number appearing repeatedly?
On a scale of 1-10, how afraid of death are you?



By clicking this button you agree to the Terms of Service.

⚠ IMMINENT DEATH DETECTED ⚠

--:--:--

REMAIN CALM. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FLEE.

Calculations indicate you have approximately -- remaining.

RECOMMENDED ACTIONS:
  • Contact loved ones.
  • Complete any unfinished business.
  • Make peace with your choices.
  • Accept the inevitable.
Dr. Amigo is rarely wrong.

I am under your bed.
DarkWeb Ring
[Prev] [Guestbook] [Next]
Site #666 in the WebRing.

You are visitor: 066666
IE Badge

Downloading data...

Resolving host...

☠ MY GUESTBOOK ☠

<< Back to Calculator
xX_DarkAngel_Xx 10/31/2006 11:42 PM
this site is weird, how does it know my screen resolution?
Dr. Amigo 02/14/2007 03:15 AM
Test calculation #402. The margin of error is shrinking. It's getting too accurate. The variables are solving themselves.
SYSTEM_DAEMON 11/12/2008 00:00 AM
USER DR. AMIGO REMOVED. REASON: CALCULATION FULFILLED.
Guest_919283 ??/??/???? ??:?? ??
It is still running. Dr. Amigo is still watching through the code.

Sign the guestbook:

Name:

Message:

LEGAL.TXT

<< Back to Calculator
DEATH PREDICTION CALCULATOR v2.1 END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

1. ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS
By accessing this page, you agree to be bound by these terms. If you do not agree, you should not have navigated here. It is too late to disagree.

2. DATA COLLECTION
We collect standard analytical data: IP address, browser type, and operating system. We also collect non-standard data: keystroke hesitation, ambient room temperature, breathing frequency, and ocular dilation patterns via peripheral hardware access. This data is fed directly into the mainframe.

3. ACCURACY OF PREDICTION
The algorithm developed by Dr. Amigo achieves a 99.98% accuracy rate. Variables are locked upon clicking "Calculate". The resulting timestamp is immutable.

4. LIABILITY
The estate of Dr. Amigo assumes no liability for psychological distress, existential dread, or the sudden, precise cessation of biological functions at the predicted time. You initiated the sequence.

5. TERMINATION
Your access to this service will terminate automatically upon your expiration. Do not attempt to subvert the timer. They do not like being kept waiting.

6. JURISDICTION
This agreement is governed by the laws of the sequence 919283.